Happy Didorce: the joke that failed so hard it was funny

Let me start off by saying ti was an amicable divorce, we’re friends and coparents and all that happy horse shit *modern family dream shit, ya dig*.

So on my way to meet ex-hubs-to-be at the lawyers office, I stopped at Kroger for a long-considered practical joke, for lack of a better term. Looking around at the small amount of cake choices the bakery had, I decided on a mermaid cake that had multi-colored interior and sprinkles on the outer sides. I made my decision and spotted the lady behind the counter and walked up with her with a big, half-baked, nervous smile and asked if she would write on the cake for me. She obliged and asked what I wanted.

I couldn’t help myself and told her gleefully I was going to a lawyer to sign my divorce papers and I wanted to take a “happy Divorce” cake. Her puzzled look gave away the fact that in whatever country she hailed from, divorce didn’t translate. She asked if I could spell it. “D-I-V- *ring ring*, shit, O-R-C-E”, I said, reaching for my phone that was violently buzzing and ringing. I answer only to find out that my appointment was at 9, not at 10, and yes they were aggravated with me, but yes they would wait on me. The puzzled cake-decorator did what she thought I had asked her to do, I thanked her, took the cake, and headed towards my hilarious freedom.

I arrived, went through the motions, discussed the things and laughed with them. Then we had cake. After that, ex-hubs and I talked in the parking lot for awhile, and discussed a few things and reminisced a tad. It was at this point that I realized the goddamn cake was spelled wrong, and I was somewhere between crushed at the fact my thing I had planned for so long wasn’t right, and falling in the floor crying with how ironic it was that the cake was fucked up. To which ex-hubs says, “yeah, I saw it. But you were entirely too pleased with yourself so I didn’t say anything.”

Well shit.

What I came home to after a hard day of triumphs, failures, and hilarity. 🙂

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